How Parental Alienation Harms Children Emotionally, Psychologically, and Spiritually

Parental alienation, where one parent manipulates a child to reject the other, is a devastating form of emotional abuse. While the targeted parent suffers, the child is the unintended victim, caught in a web of loyalty conflicts and misinformation. Let’s scratch the surface of the emotional, psychological, and spiritual impacts of parental alienation on children. The long-term consequences are devastating. Early intervention is critical.

Emotional Cost to the Child

Children ensnared in parental alienation experience profound emotional turmoil. They feel confused, sad, and lonely, torn between love for both parents and the pressure to choose sides. Psychology Today explains that children may internalize hatred toward the targeted parent, believing they are unloved or unwanted, which fosters guilt and self-blame (Psychology Today, 2025). This emotional conflict creates a sense of being trapped, with children struggling to process feelings they’re too young to fully understand. Their sadness, shame, and isolation can leave lasting scars, shaping their emotional landscape for years.

Psychological Damage

The psychological effects of parental alienation are severe and far-reaching. Children often develop low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression as they navigate the manipulation and loss of a parent. Make no mistake, this loss is a complex blend of perceived abandonment, induced anger, and intense shame stoked by a cruel and manipulative parent more intent on hurting their (ex)spouse than on loving their child.

A study published in PMC found that 90% of adults who experienced alienating behaviors in childhood reported mental health difficulties, including 30% with suicidal ideation, underscoring the gravity of the impact (PMC, 2022). Long-term, these children face higher risks of substance abuse, low self-worth, and have insecure attachment styles leading to difficulty forming healthy relationships. The trauma of alienation can alter a child’s mental health trajectory, making early intervention critical.

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Spiritual Effects

The spiritual impact of parental alienation on children is a significant consideration. Emotional and psychological chaos can erode a child’s sense of trust, security, and identity, which are foundational to spiritual development. As Peter Scazzero (2014) asserts, we can only be as spiritually healthy as we are emotionally healthy. The PMC study hints at this, noting that children report confusion about their identity and experiences, which could extend to their beliefs and worldview (PMC, 2022). When a child’s trust in one parent is shattered, their sense of belonging and faith in relationships may falter, potentially affecting their spiritual growth. Our image of God is largely based on our relationship with our parents, particularly our fathers, until we grow in our faith enough to see God for who He is. Emotional abuse by untrustworthy parents makes it hard to trust God.

There is Hope and There is Help

Parental alienation inflicts deep emotional, psychological, and spiritual wounds on children, with consequences that can last a lifetime. However, hope exists—therapy, increased time with the targeted parent, and supportive environments can help children heal. Many, as adults, recognize the manipulation and seek to reconnect, as Psychology Today notes (Psychology Today, 2025). If you’re aware of a child experiencing alienation, advocate for their well-being. Share this post, support reunification therapy, and push for awareness to protect children from this silent harm.

Angela W Startz, MAHSC, CMCLC

Mental Health & Relationship Coach

Called2Rise LLC

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The Devastating Impact of Parental Alienation on the Targeted Parent

References

Psychology Today. (2025). Parental Alienation. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parental-alienation

PMC. (2022). Mental Health Impact of Parental Alienation. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9026878/

Scazzero, P. (2014). Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to be Spiritually Mature While Remaining Emotionally Immature. Zondervan.