Protect Your Children During Divorce

Part 5 in the Honoring God During Divorce series.

Going through a divorce in which children are involved is perhaps one of the most devastating experiences a person can endure. Pause and consider this - for the children involved, something which is entirely outside of their control and has nothing to do with them has altered the trajectory of their lives.

Hearkening back to Feel All the Feels – Then Resolve to Do What’s Right Anyway, this is where the rubber meets the road. You must set aside your feelings and pursue what is best for your children like the mom in I Kings 3:16-28 who set aside her feelings and her rights to secure the wellbeing of her son.

It is critical to remember God’s design for families, i.e., children are raised by a mother and father. If this cannot be done while married and living in the same home, that does not negate the importance of God’s design. Stay involved in the lives of your children. Yes, it will look different, but being divorced does not diminish your influence or responsibility as a mother/father.

How you conduct yourself during the divorce process sets the tone for your co-parenting relationship. Tread lightly. You do not want to create a dynamic in which the children feel pressured to choose one parent over the other. Parental alienation is abuse and is indescribably damaging. To paraphrase a friend of mine, do not hate your ex-spouse more than you love your children.

Practical steps to honoring God by protecting your children during divorce

  • Do not burden your children with detailed accounts of the demise of your marriage. Seek emotional support from a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or coach – not your children.

  • Do not speak ill of their mother/father. Regardless of your current opinion of your future ex-wife/husband, they are the person God chose to be your children’s parent. Never forget that you will be held a