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Coping vs. Healing: My Journey to Healing – Part 1 Why Coping Isn’t Enough
By Angela W. Startz, MAHSC, CMCLC
Coping is managing symptoms so you can survive. Healing is being restored to wholeness. For six years, I learned excellent coping skills (grounding, breathing, verbalizing trauma), but hypervigilance and self-reliance kept my PTSD reinforced. True healing began when I encountered Jesus at age 28.
Starting Therapy at 18 (When I Didn’t Even Know Myself)
My therapeutic journey began at 18. At the time, I didn’t know anything about myself, much less therapy. I met with a gentleman who, at the end of our first session, informed me that he knew my grandfather. And… that was the end of that!
Roughly a year later, I tried again. I found a therapist in the yellow pages (a telephone book, not online, since online did not exist back then). Drawn to the name of her practice, Abuse Away, I began meeting with her individually and eventually in group therapy. All told, I spent six years in therapy, weekly individual sessions for six years, and five years doubling up with group sessions as well. You may be thinking that’s a lot of therapy. Well, I had a lot of things to work through.
Six Years of Coping Skills And Why They Weren’t Enough
I learned how to verbalize what happened to me. I learned how those things influenced the choices I made. I learned that I was not alone. I gained tremendous coping skills. I learned to use grounding skills when I dissociated. I learned to use breathing techniques to pull myself out of panic. My therapist provided a safe space and an opportunity for me to consider trusting others.
After I unpacked my trauma with her, she told me, “Statistically, you should be dead by direct or indirect suicide.” All things considered, I’d say that I coped pretty well! But coping is not healing.
Coping required that I remain hypervigilant to keep myself safe, which did not reduce my PTSD; it reinforced it. It created a barrier to trusting others. Constant coping gave me the reputation of a “control freak,” which was somewhat deserved. My anxiety and OCD had permission to run the show because they made me feel safe. I learned to intellectualize, so I did not have to experience my emotions or process my feelings. Because others thought I was so “strong” or even “cold,” they were not careful with me. That became more data that I used to double down on my belief that people were not to be trusted, and I could only rely on myself. So, I continued coping.
At 28, married and a new mom of a colicky 4-month-old, I had a come-to-Jesus moment. And that is exactly what I did. I bought a Bible and read it cover to cover. I encountered the Living God. Healing began.
The Clear Difference Between Coping and Healing
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary paints a vivid picture of the difference between coping and healing (emphasis mine):
1a: to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties — often used with with1b: to maintain a contest or combat usually on even terms or with success — used with with
| 1a: to make free from injury or disease: to make sound or whole1b: to make well again: to restore to health2a: to cause (an undesirable condition) to be overcome2b: to patch up or correct (a breach or division)3: to restore to original purity or integrity — healed of sin |
Don’t settle for coping. Healing is possible.
Jesus is our Healer. He is not only able, but willing (Mark 1:41).
How I Walk With Others Now
By God’s grace, I am an abundantly trained Christian helper who has been where you are, and who has risen above what the enemy meant to destroy me. I’d be honored to help support and equip you as Jesus heals your soul (mind, will, and emotions).
Stay tuned for Part 2 of My Journey to Healing…
Founder, Called2Rise LLC
Trauma-Informed Mental Health & Relationship Coach
Serving clients in Plano, Texas, and online nationwide.
FAQ - Coping vs. Healing: Why Coping Isn't Enough
What is the difference between coping and healing? Coping is the skill of managing symptoms, triggers, and difficulties so you can function. Healing is the restoration of wholeness, being made sound, free from the ongoing control of the injury, and restored in mind, will, and emotions. Coping can keep you alive; healing sets you free.
Can you heal from trauma after years of just coping? Yes. I spent six years learning excellent coping skills, yet true healing did not begin until I encountered Jesus. Coping skills remain valuable, but they are not the end of the story. Healing is possible even after long seasons of survival mode.
How does faith change the trauma recovery process? Faith does not bypass the hard work, but it changes the foundation. When Jesus becomes the Healer rather than merely another coping tool, the goal shifts from managing pain to being restored. Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and practical tools work together instead of against each other.
Is long-term therapy enough for deep healing? Therapy gave me language, safety, and vital skills for which I am grateful. Yet my therapist’s own words acknowledged that statistically, I should not have survived. Coping skills alone left my PTSD reinforced through hypervigilance. Healing required more than management; it required restoration. For many, that deeper work includes both skilled support and an encounter with the Living God.
