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My Journey to Healing – Part 2: From Surviving to Thriving
By Angela W Startz, MAHSC, CMCLC
Becoming a Christian Didn’t Erase the Consequences
Remember when I said that I had learned how the things I experienced led me to make certain choices? (See My Journey to Healing – Part 1.) Well, becoming a Christian did not magically undo those choices or erase the consequences. Who knew?
For all the good therapy did me, and it did do a lot of good, it also taught me how to neatly box up what I could not control (my feelings) and gave me new and creative ways to justify my poor decisions.
When Control Melted Away
Enter Jesus, Who is a God of His Word. He removed my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). He destroyed vain human philosophies with Truth (Colossians 2:8). My delusion of control melted away, no longer able to sustain the illusion of safety.
Life continued to happen. Consequences of my choices continued to pile up. But as I stopped relying on myself to manage (control) everything and started relying on the One who is truly in control, gradually my symptoms started to subside.
Learning to Entrust Instead of Manage
Now, when things happen, and I hear the siren song of those old habits, I realize, “This is something I need to entrust to God. He will guide me in the best way to handle it.” He has not let me down yet. He has proven Himself trustworthy again and again, not just in a “the Bible tells me so” kind of way, but to me directly and specifically. I keep a Blessings Timeline so I can go back and review His goodness and His faithfulness when my trust wavers. (This is one thing I suggest to all of my clients because it is so powerful.)
The Power of a Blessings Timeline
How do you create a Blessings Timeline? Go back as far as you can remember, before you were a Christian, before you started walking with Jesus, before you got sober... Going back this far reminds you that before you knew Who God was, He knew you. He chose you. You will begin to see a pattern: God is faithful and loving toward you simply because He is faithful (I Corinthians 1:9) and loving (Joel 2:13).
Write down every time the Lord pulled your iron out of the fire or blessed you for no good reason. Every time something could have been worse, could have gone sideways, unexpected blessings…every time you can look over your life and see how God was with you, helped you survive, redeemed your situation, and has provided for you. My Blessings Timeline helped me realize that God was with me every step of the way and is redeeming my pain by allowing me to use it to help others. This exercise is a trust builder.
What God Has Redeemed
Abandonment… Rejection… Neglect… Trauma… Narcissistic Abuse… Parental Alienation… Divorce… Shame… Low (no) Self-Worth…
God delivered me.
He healed me.
He restored my relationship with my son after seven long years.
He vindicated me.
He turned my pain into fuel for my purpose.
He blessed me with life experience so I can relate to your struggle, and with quality education and training so I can help you address concerns from psychological, emotional, and physiological perspectives, all while honoring your faith in Christ. I provide trauma-informed Christian mental-health and relationship care without spiritual bypassing, guilt, or judgment so you can have a safe place to process, hear from God, and move forward in faith.
Ready to Move from Surviving to Thriving?
When you’re ready to shift from coping to healing, and from surviving to thriving, I’m ready to help.
Founder, Called2Rise LLC
Trauma-Informed Mental Health & Relationship Coach
Serving clients in Plano, Texas, and online nationwide
FAQ - From Thriving to Surviving
Did becoming a Christian instantly heal your trauma? No. Becoming a Christian did not magically undo the choices I had made or erase the consequences of my past. It also did not instantly remove the symptoms of trauma. What it did was give me a new heart and the Truth that began to dismantle the false sense of control I had been clinging to. Healing has been a process of learning to trust God instead of managing everything myself. The symptoms gradually subsided as I stopped relying on myself and started entrusting things to Him.
What is a Blessings Timeline, and why do you recommend it? A Blessings Timeline is simply a written record of specific ways God has shown up, provided, protected, or proven Himself faithful in your life. I keep one so that when my trust starts to waver, I can go back and review the evidence of His goodness not just “the Bible tells me so,” but what He has done for me personally. I recommend it to every client because it is one of the most powerful, practical ways to strengthen faith when life feels uncertain. Looking back at His track record reminds us that He is still trustworthy today.
How is thriving different from coping? Coping is learning to manage pain, symptoms, and difficult circumstances so you can keep going. Thriving is living from a place of healing and restored trust rather than constant self-protection. In Part 1, I described years of excellent coping skills that still left me hypervigilant and self-reliant. Thriving began when I stopped trying to control everything and started entrusting my life to the One who is actually in control. The difference shows up in greater peace, fewer symptoms, and the ability to use what I have walked through to help others.
Can God redeem pain and use it for a purpose? Yes. God did not waste what I went through. He delivered me, healed me, restored my relationship with my son after seven long years of separation due to parental alienation, vindicated me, and turned my pain into fuel for my purpose. The very experiences that I once allowed to define me: abandonment, rejection, trauma, narcissistic abuse, divorce, shame, and low self-worth, are now part of the story He uses so I can walk with others who are still in the middle of their own pain. Redemption does not mean the pain was good; it means He is able to bring lasting good out of what the enemy meant to destroy.
